Listen Up- When we say that fellowship is something the vets need as much as anything,it’s because we’ve seen firsthand—for years—the principal of “birds of a feather stick together.” The military is a brotherhood like no other. When warriors are in the thick of combat, it’s not about who is wrong or who is right; it’s about the brother to the left or the brother to the right. When a soldiers’ brother or sister is killed, that death stays with the soldier forever. When President Lincoln gave his Gettysburg Address, he said, “They gave the last full measure of devotion.” That was true in 1863, and it’s still true today. The stresses and pains and sacrifices can only be understood by those who have lived them. We in the civilian world barely have a glimpse of what that might mean or how it can affect someone.
Years ago, when we started working with wounded vets, we didn’t know how to help them. We were a small group with no special training or experience working with this community, and it was very much a process of “learn as you go.” We had a desire to help, but other them limited financial aid, we didn’t have much to offer. Larger foundations had enough resources to take vets on fantastic weekend holidays, to spend thousands of dollars for a few days at some exciting location where the vets could do amazing activities, but we didn’t have the funds to do anything like that.
The problem with those dream getaways, though, is that they’re usually only once a year at best, and soon the vets return to the real world. Their reality includes depression, isolation, and contact only with other vets at the VA. Older vets have the VFW and the American Legion, but these younger guys need to be with vets from their wars, vets who are the same age and who have the same interests. Many are on medication for PTSD and TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury), and they can hardly enjoy a few beers without paying a high price.
At first, all we could afford to do was have weekly lunches or take a handful of vets out to dinner. We quickly noticed, however, that once they got together, they would relax, smile and laugh. Often times, we even closed down restaurants. We started to understand the importance of fellowship, and we realized we could accomplish that with a few hundred dollars.The more we got together, the more the fellowship grew. That didn’t cure anyone’s PTSD or TBI, and it didn’t make any paraplegic walk again, but it started to give everyone a group they looked forward to being a part of. They liked having fun, doing a little trash-talking, laughing and, most importantly, having a social environment away from the VA, and with civilians where they would often get a standing ovations and recognition for their service. And with these guys, a simple “thank you” and a handshake goes a long way.
We started down this road with golf, holding our first tournament on November 29, 2001, to raise money for the wife and children of a man who was killed in the World Trade Center attacks. We’ve been playing golf ever since, and we just held our 19th annual Golf Tournament. It didn’t matter that we had to rent 10 sets of clubs for our vets to play. It didn’t matter that most of them had never played before. The golfers love to play with our vets, even if they have to carry them for 18 holes. And at the end of the day, it’s the vets’tournament. They help organize and run it, and best of all, they can now say with total confidence,“I’m a golfer.” (A bad golfer maybe, but a golfer nonetheless).
On May 5, we had a group of our vets take part in a surf contest. No one knew how to surf, and I can say with certainty that they’re no better at surfing than they are at golfing. But they love it, and they’ll all be better surfers and golfers the next time around. “You can take that to the bank.”
We strongly believe that the resources we need to make life better for these young warriors are in the community, and with the help of our friends and businesses and community leaders, we can initiate the continual contact that’s crucial to creating fellowship. It’s laborious to finish one event and move straight on to the next, but it’s how we operate. We need funding because the main reason combat wounded vets come to us in the first place is for a temporary hand-up to help them through tough financial times. The reason they stay connected to us, though, is because of the fellowship. For us, partnering with the community is paramount.
We have good friends who share their resources and allow us to do things we otherwise wouldn’t have the funds to do. Golf is one of the best ways we have found to bring our vets and our friends together; it’s one of our favorite events of the year.
There is nothing original in what we do. This can be duplicated in any community, and it works. Our next Golf Tournament is May 22, 2019, and I’m sure even more vets will participate. Even if they’re not better golfers, they’ll appreciate the support from those who love and respect them. We’re thinking Scuba diving next. What do you think?
To everyone who helped make this Golf Tournament possible, all of us at Wounded Heroes of America would like to give you a huge thank you